Time has lost all significance to me.


I stop into the Diamond for another cup of coffee and I've forgotten how long I've actually been awake. Did I spend the night sleeping or working? Did I go to class today? Is this morning to me or evening? Should I just be getting up or going to bed?

I blink at a hot water vender. Stare at the packets of sugar and cream next to it... at the discarded straw wrappers and spilled soda on the counter. Finally, I decide this isn't what I need to fill my cup with. I move around the table until I find "French Vanilla," "Mocha" and "Hot Chocolate." I get a little bit of everything.

I turn slowly. I need to pay. There are two registers and one "register closed" sign. I can't decide which one is actually open.


There's some caffeine in me now and I remember that I need to go to the dentist and get my second cavity filled. The good thing about sleep deprivation is that you just don't give a crap. Pain rolls off you like drops of water.

I also have a story due tomorrow that I haven't started and a psych test somewhere in the near future. There's also math.

Math. I barely show up to that class. When I do, I'm always about to unravel. I feel like the edges of me are peeling off and half the time I don't even hear the teacher. I punch random numbers on my calculator to see what happens.

When the tests were handed back, I got the highest grade in the class. I don't even remember what it was over.


Pima called me back today and they want me to be a writing tutor. Show up Wednesday.

I was supposed to give them some technical writing samples... prove I can spell and put all my semi-colons in the right places. I can do neither and never submitted said work.

Because I was in somewhat of a debt to my mom, I helped her with some projects she was doing for our neighbor. $15 an hour. I did it half asleep. If only I could get better hours.


I think I wanted to say something really worthwhile here, but I'm only a quarter of the way into my coffee and it's just not coming yet.

Sometimes life is just a ridiculous game.